I was reading a fitness blog the other day. I have no idea why. All I know is that I won’t be doing that again. But the author (a woman) wrote a post calling out “skinny fat girls.” Apparently these are women who are skinny-fat, and according to the blog post, they spend all of their time on cardio equipment.

I read the post a few times trying to understand what I was supposed to take away from the writing. What I learned was being skinny-fat is a thing and cardio exercises won’t prevent it.

And then I started thinking about the words skinny-fat and trying to understand what that means. Really. What is this? How could it be even a legitimate thing. I’ve seen a lot of slender women who aren’t necessarily strong, but one cannot be skinny fat. And then I thought, this is really stupid that someone had a thought and the thought was this: “I know! Skinny-fat!” I believe this same person came up with the incredibly stupid words used to describe women’s body’s below.

Cankles: OMG please, please, please let us stop using this word. It isn’t a real word. And it’s not a real thing. And there’s nothing one can do about ones ankles.

Muffintop: Painful. Infantile. And so stupid. File this one under “baby daddy.”

Passing the pencil test: What about instead of passing the pencil test, we work on passing the running a mile test. Or being limber enough to touch our toes. Or, I don’t know, passing the current affairs test.

Cellulite: I’m going way back with this one.  It’s not a real thing. It’s not a condition. It’s your body being a body.

I know that I’m missing a bunch of these terms. And, frankly, I’m okay with them not coming to mind. Women have enough pressure on our bodies (get your pre-baby body back!) to have to endure made up words and made up things. Let’s not use these terms anymore, if you please.

And I promise to never read another fitness blog again.

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