For the past few months, I’ve been trying to see odd things as odd things instead of as irritating things or scary things or things put in front of me just to spite me. Here’s what happens when the odd things start happening, I think: OMG what is happening right now? And then I think wait, here’s a very odd thing. Let’s see what happens.

So I was in the pool in the morning, which is typically when the older ladies are swimming. This is my favorite time to swim. If you’ve never been swimming with old ladies, I highly recommend it. It’s so soothing and lovely. Anyway, I was sharing a lane with an old lady and we were peacefully swimming in our halves of the lane and I popped up at the end of my lap and found a woman sitting on the edge of the pool at the end of my lane putting on some flippers.

This was odd because the whole pool was full and there were people waiting to get in, so why would this woman be putting on her flippers as if she was about to get into my already-full lane? But whatever. I keep swimming because it’s old lady swimming hour and I’ve got not a care in the world.

The woman in the lane with me and I reach the opposite end at the same time and we both pop up and heading right for us was the woman with the flippers and a paddle board. The flipper woman then turned and paddled back the other way. And the older lady said to me, “What’s she doing?” And I said, “Acting very strangely.”

So the flipper woman decided she’d just swim up the middle, dodging us as she went. With her flippers and paddle board. Well, she clocked the older woman and the older woman stopped and asked that the flipper woman get out of the lane. She did not. So I waited at the end of the pool for the flipper woman and I said, “Please get out of the pool. I’ll be done in 15 minutes and you can get back in at that point.” And she said to me, “I just have two more minutes,” and kept paddling and flipping.

The big samoan guy in the lane next to us started yelling at the flipper woman to get out of the pool and the older woman asked that she leave again. The woman kept going. When her two minutes were up, she stool in our lane and did leg lifts. We all asked her to please do her leg lifts outside of the pool and she just stood there like she couldn’t hear us. Finally she shook her head and got out.

The older lady got out a few minutes later. And then I got out. I have no moral or ending to this story, other than it was really and truly bizarre.

 

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