First of all, to my beta tester volunteers — I’m doing a test drive this weekend. And then we should have something to beta test in, I’m hoping, two weeks. So excited. Thank you for volunteering and I will get back to you shortly.

In the meantime, I’m going to tell you the truth about chickens. Those of you who love eggs or who eat eggs, or chickens for that matter, may want to turn away right now.

Chickens are not vegetarians. They eat bugs. Did you know that? They do. A lot of them.

Our old Mrs. Peckinsmith wasn’t laying at all and she’s a meanie so we decided that we’d cut off her head and turn her into stock. It’s like that time I butchered a pig — we want to get closer to our food chain and if we can’t kill a chicken, what are we doing eating them?

So we were planning how we’d do it and mostly the ax wielding would fall to me. I enjoy eating meat and my emotional grasp on animals that could be food is different than other people’s. Specifically, if you showed me how to kill a chicken and how to de-feather it, I would do it no worries.

We’d been planning this for a while. Meanwhile, Portland had a heat wave and our compost had maggots. So Fancyhats tossed a shovelful of compost to the chickens and the chickens were in hog heaven. Each day he gave them more maggot compost and each day they were happier. And then Peckinsmith started laying again. Problem solved, right? Now we don’t cut off her head. And we’re back to two eggs a day.

But I get a little flipped about the fact that the chickens are eating maggots. This is so totally ridiculous, I can’t even tell you. But there it is. We’re still eating their eggs, but it’s with a bit less gusto for me. Because…maggots. Never mind they were eating worms and bugs and likely maggots all along and I eat those eggs practically raw. It’s the idea of maggot eggs that freaks me out.

Here’s the other truth — my maggot eggs are light years healthier than anything found in the store. BUT STILL.

The mind is a powerful thing. And I will get over this. I will. But I need to stop calling them maggot eggs.