I have a couple of people in my life who are fascinated by the human body. These are people who are not grossed out by anything the human body does. They marvel at it and want to know more. I am always fascinated by these people. I don’t share their curiosity about bodies. In fact, in some ways, the gym is there to get me over my mostly-freaked-outedness about bodies. After nearly two years of going to the gym, I have come to realize that no one has a perfect body and that we all have these odd shapes and lumps and bumps. But I stop there. I don’t want to know more about these lumps and bumps.

This is all to say that I wouldn’t normally blog about feet but sometimes there are coincidences that make me remember things. In this case, a few things happened. For our road trip, I got Arch a book about human anatomy. He really wanted to know what people look like without their skin. So we looked through the anatomy book on the road. He was most interested in the pictures of muscles and of feet. There was a picture of bunions and he wanted to know all about them. I explained that they’re caused by high heels and we read about the procedure that needs to happen to correct them (the foot needs to be broken and reset). Arch was horrified.

The day we returned from our trip, I showered and put on some sandals with about a two-inch heel. Again, he was horrified and told me to take them off. He said, “I don’t want your feet to get those things.” I assured him that my wearing open-toed sandals for an afternoon wouldn’t bring on bunions, but he wasn’t convinced.

I thought it was so sweet that he was worried. And I remembered a party I was at in my 20’s. It was an awful party. I had somehow found myself with the cool, mean kids. The ones who do coke in the open and think you’re sort of a loser for not doing some, and for not stealing from your place of employment. I’m a square, it’s true.

I have many awful memories of the party, but one good one. One of the women who was there was so fashionable and glamorous and her boyfriend asked her to take off her brutal high heels. When she refused, he said, “I’m worried about your feet. I’m always worried about your feet.” I thought this was so sweet.

I thought, I’d really love it if a guy said that to me.

Fast forward several years and Fancyhats and I were going to a fund raiser at the zoo. It was fancy. I put on heels. He said, “We’re going to the zoo. I’m worried about your feet in those.” I took them off and put on flat sandals and was so much happier on the uneven gravel paths.

Yesterday, I was getting a pedicure. An older woman was sitting next to me. She touched me on my arm and said, “You have nice feet. You don’t often see feet that nice. Usually you see bunions.” I didn’t say what went through my head: Ick! Feet are so gross!!! Why do you love bodies so much!!!! Ack! Feet!!!

I thanked her and when my toes were dry, I put on my sandals with the two-inch heels.

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